You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
