before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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