Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
