The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
