he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
