There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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