So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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