Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize