No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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