dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
