Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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