you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
