Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
