Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
