sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
