How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
