Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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