What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
