i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
