I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
