I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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