he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
