There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
