my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
