I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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