you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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