[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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