So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
