i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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