She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I AM VODKA MAN
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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