so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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