Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
