I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
