Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
