ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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