He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
