omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
