there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
