Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
