I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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