Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
