I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
