rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize