...so i touched it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
