She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
