this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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