Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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