okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
