i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
