So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
