I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
