I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
