I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
