I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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