We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
