I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
